Chaud Blog #7 Fatal Fame

So many celebrities have tragically passed away from drug overdose. Mixing drugs with other kinds of drugs, mixing drugs with alcohol etc. I was thinking...these people have access to all the best in life, so what are they missing? From the outside looking in, it seems like we only know them as the celebrity personality, the one we see on the red carpet interviews, movies, music videos etc. But really...we don't KNOW these people. We don't know things like who they were and what they were going through before they were famous. We're not familiar with their childhood and other life experiences good or bad. Maybe I'm wrong but I would think that if you haven't dealt with your issues and then throw fame into the mix, life may become a little unbearable. Especially when with fame you have people in your life who you don't know if they like you for you, or for the attention they get when their with you. I imagine it's lonely. So not only do they have access to the best in life, they also have access to the worst aka alcohol, drug dealers, crooked doctors ( legal drug dealers) at their beck and call with a bunch of YES people willing to hook them up. I do understand why people self medicate. Perhaps they feel they have no where to turn and no one to turn to that really cares about them. They are under the biggest microscope there is, and no one is perfect but they have to be more perfect than everyone else even when they don't feel like it. When their in the moment of abusing drugs or alcohol or both, they may be thinking of just trying to escape and feel better right then. Not being discovered dead tomorrow. Yet to the paparazzi it's just another story that stuffs their pockets with more cash. 24 hour coverage for a few days and everyone starts looking for the next big drama. It's crazy because we will never have an idea of who these people REALLY were or what they were going through. We still have no clue as to why they ended up becoming yet another Hollywood tragedy.

Talk Soon,
Chaud

"They have made worms' meat of me."
Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet

Lyrics To My New Song I Wrote "Everytime"

Every time you lie to me, you take it all away from me, you punish me for demons you can't seem to fight.Then you go and turn on me, as if I'm the enemy, for bringing you deceiving me into the light.

Then you grow colder, oh the chill, it makes me feel so sick inside.You can't control it, how you feel, lying as you look in my eyes.

The pain cut like a knife even the alcohol couldn't numb the hurt, this time. Knowing you were with her, you told me I should always have peace of mind, I can't find it.

Telling me I'm crazy, crazy to ever think, you'd be disrespecting the love of your life. You tell her your sick of me, don't know how to make me leave, then tell me you want me to be your wife.

And my heart feels empty, yet and still I listened to you apologize. But I feel so angry, feel so ill, knowing what you said to her. Why? Why?

Makes me want to take a knife cause the pain won't go away i just want to hide, all the time. How could I let you stay you'd do it again without even thinking twice.

Then I grow colder, yet and still you killed me. Did you love it, how did it feel, did it heal you.

Chaud Blog #6

Here is a video of me singing a cover of Ain't No Sunshine, a song originally performed by Bill Withers. For some reason this song has always hit home with me. I consider it one of the greatest songs of all time. I will be posting more videos soon, so stay tuned!


Talk Soon,

Love Chaud

" I, in my condition, shall speak better of you than you deserve" Shakespeare's Henry IV

Chaud Blog #5

Wow. Soooo....my license expires on what happens to be my birthday this year which is August 21st. Thus I had to make a trip to what I like to call "The Happiest Place on Earth!". The fucking DMV. So I get there at 8:30am which is a half hour before it opens and the line is ridiculous. As I'm walking up to the line theres a guy giving a sermon to all the people waiting. I'm like are you kidding me? We have to listen because #1 he's screaming his ass off about Jesus this and Jesus that and #2 we HAVE to wait in line and theres no where to go. So at the end of his speech he goes "how many of you are ready to expect Jesus as your personal savior?" of course no one said anything, so he starts rambling on again about how we should never lie or steal because were gonna have to face HIM on judgement day. Finally he shuts the fuck up and then starts handing out fliers like i'm at a freaking club or some shit. I was like wow...I would have much rather seen DMV idol if we were going to be doing performances. I think it would have went well if Ryan Seacrest came out and offered the people in line $100 bucks to get out there and show the world what their working with! Seriously though, this crowd of people waiting in line were some of the most strange and miserable looking people I have ever seen in my life. I saw one girl who had on the tightest pair of skinny jeans I have ever seen with the craziest muffin top falling over them. The bitch wasn't just a muffin top, homegirl was the muffin factory!! I saw one Transvestite and I knew because when your the only one in line with false eyelashes on at 830am...somethings just not right plus he/she has stubble. The guy in front of me was literally like 112 lbs at the most, i took a peak at his drivers license application and it said 145! I was like you wish! Then there was this influx of walking tools with tennis balls on them. Have you seen this? One guy had a cane, but like he split open a tennis ball and put it on the end and another lady had a walker with two tennis balls on the back. I don't know if their in a gang or what. I mean guess I get why the walker needs it, so they can slide along better, but why the cane? And why wouldn't the manufacturer make the walkers better so these poor people don't have to ruin all these tennis balls!? So we were forced to make our line in the parking lot which means cars were driving up left and right looking for parking of which there wasn't any and it was like a snoop dogg video rolled into town. Gold rims, candy green Cadillacs with the windows all down and pimp and ho' music blasting! Finally this DMV worker lady comes out at about 10 till to hand out forms and she onto the steps and yells " Good Morning!!" no one responded and then again shes like "I can't hear you??!! I said goooooood morning!" I'm like WTF? Are you Janet Jackson all of a sudden giving a concert? Just gimme my form! As shes handing out forms, the security guard who I have to tell you looked very SPECIAL was handing out clip boards. His uniform was extremely ill-fitting, but that was the least of his problems. He was about 5'4, had no teeth (so you couldn't understand what he was saying) and literally every few seconds he would slam his thumb up against his nose about 3-5 times like he was craving some of "that stuff" baaaaad. I'm like what the HELL is he going to do in an emergency? His shoes aren't even tied! I think his only job was to hand out clipboards and say "next 5!" because the walkie talkie wasn't even on. Once we got inside, i look over at the huge ass desk where all the workers are and it looked like most of them just came straight from their "other" job at Soul Train without even changing. There is like no dress code whatsoever, and don't even think about giving one them an attitude because "homie don't play that". Anyway needless to say after two hours of agony I finally got my renewal. Thank God I don't have to do that again for a while.

Talk Soon,

Love Chaud

"Why, this is lunatics; this is mad as a mad dog." Shakespeare's The Merry Wives Of Windsor

Love This Quote...

"You praise yourself, by laying defects of judgment to me; but you patch'd up your excuses" Shakespeare's Antony and Cleopatra

Always trust your intuition...Talk Soon...

Love,

Chaud

Chaud Blog #4

"[He's] a gentleman that loves to hear himself talk, and will speak more in a minute than he will stand to in a month." Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet. I love this quote. I've always gravitated more towards people who are introverts. The people most would say are too quiet,shy or crazy. Not to say I don't like people who are kind of in the middle (not too quiet and not to cocky) but maybe it's because I can relate to them more. Growing up I was very shy and introverted and in some ways I still am. I spent most of my time observing people which may be the reason I am so good at doing funny impressions. Though I usually don't do them all the time, when I do, people are laughing their asses off. I'm sure I'll make use of that talent some time soon. I don't know. I find the quiet people to be the more interesting people, the deeper people, the more genuine. I've been friends with and in relationships with people who just like to hear themselves talk and with those people its seems like that's all they are interested in....themselves. I don't need to brag or convince people of anything. If you have a specific talent or whatever let it speak for itself. There's nothing wrong with talking about it, but consuming a whole conversation just seems a little selfish. I've sat at dinner tables with people where one person literally talks the whole time, and if someone even tries to chime in, they cut their ass off like halfway through the sentence and it's "Back to you Bob!" kind of ridiculous. Talking to those people one on one is very uninteresting. It's like they always have these walls up....you know, the perfect answer for everything. Hmmm.... my opinion?? Watch out for those people, because when you break down the their barriers....sometimes there is a lot of ugliness hiding underneath there. Talk soon...

Love,
Chaud

"His words are a very fantastical banquet, just so many strange dishes" Shakespeare's Much Ado About Nothing

Chaud Blog #3

Sunday Morning. I was thinking. I've had so many friends who have gotten caught up in bad relationships and it has consumed their life. If he's nice to them, they are the happiest girl in the world and if he is mean to them, they are the most miserable girl in the world. Funny how one person can affect your life so drastically. I have been there many times, and it only reinforces my mantra of be careful who you let into your life. But what is true love? Because someone lies to you do they not love you? Because they hurt you physically and/or mentally over and over do they not love you? Or do they love you too much? I have no idea why people do the things they do. Everyone has a different story and their own issues. All I know is that I believe telling someone you love them and bringing hurt and mistrust into the relationship is cruel. To look into someones eyes and reassure them that everything they fear is pointless and then go do the exact thing you just promised them you would never do is cruel. It's like sometimes we hang onto the hope that our prince will arrive. Well...how long do you hope it actually exists? To get back up and carry on after disaster only makes you stronger, but in what way? Do you resist more? Are less trusting? When after so many times of being broken do you stay that way? I wonder how many people have given up or how many people just figure "well this is the best I'm gonna get."? Of all the couples in the world how many have true love? How many people love themselves? Talk Soon...

Love,
Chaud

"What should such a fool do with so good a woman?" Shakespeare's Othello

Chaud Blog #2

For the most part I like to write songs that are empowering, dance songs and songs about just letting go and having a good time. However there is also a part of me ( like most artists who write their own stuff) that likes to write songs about the experiences I've had. As I get in the studio more and record more, you will see that a few of my songs are about the dark side of life, the depression side, the addiction side,being broken and relationships. Music is like therapy for me and without it I don't know how I would get it all out. Good or not, those experiences have made me who I am today. Maybe they've created mistrust or a person who is a little more closed off, but they have also created a strong person who stands up for what she believes in and what she knows is right. I figure that as long as I have honest and loving people around me who know I can 100% trust, people I know have my back, I would rather have just a few of those people than all the friends in the world. Never let anyone take advantage of you, never let anyone bring you down or make you feel worthless. I love this quote by Donna A. Favors "Deception is a cruel act...it often has many players on different stages that corrode the soul." One thing I have learned recently is to put more energy into myself. I better, because sometimes you just wanna go crazy on some of these people! Talk soon.

Love,
Chaud

"Seldom Do People Discern Eloquence Under A Threadbare Cloak"

Mobile blogging. Gotta love it. Love Chaud

Chaud Blog #1

New to the blogging world but definitely looking forward to it. Just joined twitter too, so I'm really going all out! In my blog I will talk about everything going on with Chaud Music and my new fashion line Rico Pobre. I guess I would describe my music as a mix of Rock/Pop/Alternative and Electronic. I'm really influenced by people like Marilyn Manson, Chili Peppers, Madonna, Jimi Hendrix and even more recent artists like Lady Gaga and Santigold. It's funny because whenever I tell people I do music the first thing they say is "Oh do you do R&B or is it Hip Hop?" It's cool. I don't get offended. I love R&B And Hip Hop but hopefully when they hear my music it will speak for itself and they will love it too. It's very Alternative. My clothing line Rico Pobre reflects the type of music i do, it's very edgy. Right now it features luxury T-shirts and custom made leather wrist and armbands. We are in the pre- production stages right now and will be sending out samples soon. I design all of the artwork and leather pieces to ensure originality on all fronts. I have pics of the prototypes on my myspace(link below). It's alot of work, but definitely worth it. I really have a passion for fashion designing and am truly an artist at heart. I sing, I act, I draw, I paint, I do funny voices, I make jewelry. Never did that well in school in the textbook classes, but excelled above and beyond in all of my artistic courses from theater to choir to ceramics. Also, working on a Chaud logo right now, and will for sure post it when it's done. The basic idea of it is a wicked looking black rose with chains. Musik and art are my life and I couldn't live with them. BTW got some cool cartoons of pics my photographer had taken of me. Take a look below, pretty cool! Talk soon...Chaud P.S. If you wanna twitter me it's www.twitter.com/chaudmusic and if you wanna hear my musik it's www.myspace.com/chaudmusic

"Seldom Do People Discern Eloquence Under A Threadbare Cloak"